Do You Know How To Date?
September 19, 2020
Written by: Ms. Femoiselle
Femoiselles, serioulsy ask yourself, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DATE? Do you understand the art of dating?Do you even know why you are dating?Do you know what you want to achieve from dating? Is it for a relationship, a well off husband, sugar daddy? These are real things you need to know in order to achieve successful results. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. (Wikipedia) Many women apply too much pressure on themselves and on the date itself. Dating is supposed to be fun, enjoyable and about learning what you like and dislike. Femoiselles, basically it is collecting data, dating data!
Standards & Boundaries
Before you even decide to date, you must know the reason why you want to date? You should always know in the back of your mind, why you want to partake in dating. Do you want to be in a committed relationship? Do you want to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage with a man of means? Are you only interested in dating to be a sugar baby? Whatever you decide for yourself you must have the answers and your goals. Once you have figured out why and what you want, now it is time to get your pen and paper or cell notes section and create a list of your standards and boundaries. Standards are the qualities that must be present before you agree to entertain someone romantically in a relationship! He must be financially attractive, have his own place, generous, a gentleman etc., write it down on your list of standards. Boundaries are your limits in dating or in a relationship. They are designed to keep your self-love intact and prevent you from being used or manipulated. If your boundaries are, no sex before he has highly invested into you and commitment, no calls after 11:00pm, no Netflix and chill dates, etc. write this down on your list of boundaries. Your list is personal to you! Look at your list daily and try to remember what you've written down as well. Visual the type of lifestyle and relationships you will have.
Places You Would Like to Go on Dates
Now that you have your standards and boundaries list ready, it is time to create a list of places you would like to go on dates in case he has ran out of ideas. Your list may consist of going to basketball games, concerts, plays, cruise dates, a fine dining restaurant that you've always wanted to try out or wherever it is you have been dying to go. Ideally, you want the man to take initiative to ask you out on a date to have somewhere impressive to take you. If he doesn't you should have suggestions just in case.
Assessing the Date
Femoiselles, you have been approached by a guy and he's shown interest in you. Ask yourself, does he meet your lists of standards in order to qualify to take you out on a date. If so, proceed with going on your date. This is the best part and where all the fun takes places. Too many women apply unnecessary pressure on themselves and on the date in general. Dating is about finding out whether the men you encounter have potential to be the man you desire. Going on dates with someone doesn't mean you are obligated to them, it is just simply dating. Where a lot of women go wrong with dating is applying the pressure of, "Is he the one, or this is the one I want to marry and have kids with?", things you are asking yourself way too early on a first date. Pump your brakes! First, you need to know if you even like his company and do you feel comfortable being around him. You are supposed to be relaxing, enjoying yourself and observing your date. Is he trying to impress you? Is he allowing you to do what you like? Is he kind and accommodating? This is when and where your standards and boundaries list should be applied.
Observation
Dating isn't a job interview. When you conduct interviews on dates, you are setting yourself up to never make it pass the first date. Don't go down a list of questions with him. Nothing about that is fun or intriguing. Hold flowing conversations, see if you have anything in common, values etc. Share with him your likes and dislikes. Don't reveal too much about yourself. You want to remain a mystery and leave him at the end of the dating wanting to know more. Observe how he treats others while out, does he have a wandering eye, is he kind, cheap, generous, can he hold a conversation, is he concerned about your well being and so much more you should be looking for. Remember, it is a first date and the man should show you and try to convince you why you should consider going out with him and taking it to the next level. It's not about you as the woman trying to impress a man. You are the prize! He needs to persuade you into liking him. He is the one that asked you out and proceeded to want to get to know you. He might say all the right things and agree with everything you think and say, but it is your job to observe his words and make sure they align with his actions. Over time you need to make sure that the things you want and he wants are aligned with each other. With each date and conversation with one another, you should have a good idea if the person meets what you desire and is continuously trying to pursue you.
Options
When dating, you should always have a roster of different men that would like to take you on dates. You are a single woman, and until there has been a conversation amongst you two about exclusivity, you can go out with whomever you like. It is safe to say, always keep your options open and date multiple men. How one man treats you and his dating style may be different from the other men you are seeing. The concept you should live by when dating Femoiselles is, may the best man win. The one that proves to you through his compatibility, time. effort and highly invests into you, should be the one that takes you off the dating market.
The Answer to Dating
Dating is all about experiences, collecting information and making decisions for yourself. It should be light hearted and you should enjoy the fun of the pursuit and the chase from different men while upholding your standards and boundaries! Just because you go out on one date with a man doesn't mean you will get a second one or even want to go out with him again. Use your intuition, never settle and have fun. The less pressure you apply on yourself of finding the one, the easier dating becomes and the higher chance you have of meeting the man your desire.