Ms. Femoiselle

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A space for women that have high standards, knows their worth and completely understands that she is the prize!

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Do You Know How to Date?

Femoiselles, seriously ask yourself, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DATE? Do you understand the art of dating?Do you even know why you are dating?Do you know what you want to achieve from dating? Is it for a relationship, a well off husband, sugar daddy? These are real things you need to know in order to achieve successful results.

Your Emotions

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Do You Know How To Date?

September 19, 2020
Written by: Ms. Femoiselle

Femoiselles, serioulsy ask yourself, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DATE? Do you understand the art of dating?Do you even know why you are dating?Do you know what you want to achieve from dating? Is it for a relationship, a well off husband, sugar daddy? These are real things you need to know in order to achieve successful results. Dating is a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. (Wikipedia) Many women apply too much pressure on themselves and on the date itself. Dating is supposed to be fun, enjoyable and about learning what you like and dislike. Femoiselles, basically it is collecting data, dating data!

Standards & Boundaries

Before you even decide to date, you must know the reason why you want to date? You should always know in the back of your mind, why you want to partake in dating. Do you want to be in a committed relationship? Do you want to be in a committed relationship that leads to marriage with a man of means? Are you only interested in dating to be a sugar baby? Whatever you decide for yourself you must have the answers and your goals. Once you have figured out why and what you want, now it is time to get your pen and paper or cell notes section and create a list of your standards and boundaries. Standards are the qualities that must be present before you agree to entertain someone romantically in a relationship! He must be financially attractive, have his own place, generous, a gentleman etc., write it down on your list of standards. Boundaries are your limits in dating or in a relationship. They are designed to keep your self-love intact and prevent you from being used or manipulated. If your boundaries are, no sex before he has highly invested into you and commitment, no calls after 11:00pm, no Netflix and chill dates, etc. write this down on your list of boundaries. Your list is personal to you! Look at your list daily and try to remember what you've written down as well. Visual the type of lifestyle and relationships you will have.

Places You Would Like to Go on Dates

Now that you have your standards and boundaries list ready, it is time to create a list of places you would like to go on dates in case he has ran out of ideas. Your list may consist of going to basketball games, concerts, plays, cruise dates, a fine dining restaurant that you've always wanted to try out or wherever it is you have been dying to go. Ideally, you want the man to take initiative to ask you out on a date to have somewhere impressive to take you. If he doesn't you should have suggestions just in case.

Assessing the Date

Femoiselles, you have been approached by a guy and he's shown interest in you. Ask yourself, does he meet your lists of standards in order to qualify to take you out on a date. If so, proceed with going on your date. This is the best part and where all the fun takes places. Too many women apply unnecessary pressure on themselves and on the date in general. Dating is about finding out whether the men you encounter have potential to be the man you desire. Going on dates with someone doesn't mean you are obligated to them, it is just simply dating. Where a lot of women go wrong with dating is applying the pressure of, "Is he the one, or this is the one I want to marry and have kids with?", things you are asking yourself way too early on a first date. Pump your brakes! First, you need to know if you even like his company and do you feel comfortable being around him. You are supposed to be relaxing, enjoying yourself and observing your date. Is he trying to impress you? Is he allowing you to do what you like? Is he kind and accommodating? This is when and where your standards and boundaries list should be applied.

Observation

Dating isn't a job interview. When you conduct interviews on dates, you are setting yourself up to never make it pass the first date. Don't go down a list of questions with him. Nothing about that is fun or intriguing. Hold flowing conversations, see if you have anything in common, values etc. Share with him your likes and dislikes. Don't reveal too much about yourself. You want to remain a mystery and leave him at the end of the dating wanting to know more. Observe how he treats others while out, does he have a wandering eye, is he kind, cheap, generous, can he hold a conversation, is he concerned about your well being and so much more you should be looking for. Remember, it is a first date and the man should show you and try to convince you why you should consider going out with him and taking it to the next level. It's not about you as the woman trying to impress a man. You are the prize! He needs to persuade you into liking him. He is the one that asked you out and proceeded to want to get to know you. He might say all the right things and agree with everything you think and say, but it is your job to observe his words and make sure they align with his actions. Over time you need to make sure that the things you want and he wants are aligned with each other. With each date and conversation with one another, you should have a good idea if the person meets what you desire and is continuously trying to pursue you.

Options

When dating, you should always have a roster of different men that would like to take you on dates. You are a single woman, and until there has been a conversation amongst you two about exclusivity, you can go out with whomever you like. It is safe to say, always keep your options open and date multiple men. How one man treats you and his dating style may be different from the other men you are seeing. The concept you should live by when dating Femoiselles is, may the best man win. The one that proves to you through his compatibility, time. effort and highly invests into you, should be the one that takes you off the dating market.

The Answer to Dating

Dating is all about experiences, collecting information and making decisions for yourself. It should be light hearted and you should enjoy the fun of the pursuit and the chase from different men while upholding your standards and boundaries! Just because you go out on one date with a man doesn't mean you will get a second one or even want to go out with him again. Use your intuition, never settle and have fun. The less pressure you apply on yourself of finding the one, the easier dating becomes and the higher chance you have of meeting the man your desire.

Your Emotions

September 28, 2020
Written by: Ms. Femoiselle

Do you know when to use your emotions when it comes to dealing with men in relationships? A part of being a feminine woman is being in tune with your emotions. Your emotions range from being happy to sad, and they may vary throughout the day! They make our lives unique and exciting! It is great to express your emotions; however, knowing when to turn them on and off is very crucial when dealing with men romantically. Situations can arise and you need to know which emotion to use to acheive whatever it is you desire. Using inexact emotions and being too emotional can cause you many complications. The key to being successful in dating, is knowimg how to utilize and control your emotions. Women are thought of as emotional beings and men rely on us being too emotional to get their way! It isn't easy to control your emotions! Controlling your emotions is something you must learn! Starting today, you will no longer let men take advantage of your emotions ever again!

Keeping Your Emotions at Bay

A man's opinion is that women are unable to control their emotions. They are familiar and accustom to ladies who are easily taken over by their emotions. Falling in love with them without even truly doing anything except for saying a couple of nice words is what men depend on. On the other hand, men anticipate that if a woman shows too much emotion, it's basically a weakness or she is either weak. In the beginning, you shouldn't let a man be able to figure out your vulnerabilities and weakness.

Emotions, when they get out of hand, can cause problems in your relationships. Being too emotional about a man or a situation with him, lets him know you are more invested into him than he is to you. This sometimes exhibits that you are desperate for love and you will possibly become needy! Being desperate and needy are things that repel men. Ladies when men are needy and desperate, we are instantly less attracted to them as well. It comes across unattractive being needy and desperate. When a man knows you are more into him, he feels like he doesn't have to do much to keep you! He automatically feels like he is the prize! This is a recipe for disaster! When a man does something you don't like, this shouldn't automatically cause a visible emotional reaction. One thing I have learned in dating is, if you are a very emotional person, men will take advantage of it. They will use your anger or try to make you upset as leverage to do what they want to do.This is an example: He wants to go out tonight, or maybe go cheat and needs a way to be able to leave or be free that night. His plan is to make you upset and create an argument because he knows that you will get emotional about the situation. Now you are fussing and arguing with him, this is exactly what he wanted you to do. Then he cashes in! He might throw a line about how he can't see you tonight acting like this, or he needs some air or he will contact you when he feels like everything has cooled down. Ladies you have officially fell into the trap. He can go do whatever he wants because he used your emotions to control the situation to benefit him. This is done all the time. It only works on women who are very emotional.

Emotional People Do This

You are taken out of character by being too emotional so much out of character that it leads to acts of rage. When these actions are taken based on feelings, you usually never gain anything. Some of the acts are keying a man's car, calling the women that your man cheats with, burning his clothes, fighting other women over him, destroying his prize possessions, breaking his phone, calling his job and so many other things. Other acts of emotions, are by staying in bed crying all day, bringing the situation up all the time, finding reasons to argue, not continuing to do things that make you happy, not eating, breaking up, or divorcing with nothing to show for it. Behavior like this doesn't achieve or gain anything beneficial. This is why using logical thinking versus emotions will help you!

Logical Thinking

Certain men use logical thinking and not their emotions to make decisions in situations. Logical thinking is the process of using your mind to consider something carefully. When you are too emotional, it is hard to make rational choices, even though you know what's best for you. The emotional brain, makes decisions quickly, even though it is often irrational. To be succeed in getting what you want from men and not allowing your emotions to be taken advantage of in dating, in relationships, or even marriage, use logic instead of getting angry or get upset! Use logic because it will you think clearly and figure out how to achieve what you want out of the situation. This means, asking yourself, how can I spin this bad situation into a good situation to get what I want. Too many times, we as women get upset and never get anything from being emotional.